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Reflections from Year One in the City

Writer's picture: Dominique Loftus Dominique Loftus



“I'll say goodbye to all my sorrow

And by tomorrow I'll be on my way

I guess the Lord must be in New York City

I'm so tired of gettin' nowhere

Seein' my prayers goin' unanswered

I guess the Lord must be in New York City

Well, here I am, Lord, knockin' at your back door

Ain't it wonderful to be

Where I've always wanted to be?

For the first time I'll breathe free, here in New York City”


-Harry Nillson (I Guess the Lord must be in New York City)


New York has long been a cradle for humanity. From the earliest days, it sheltered the Lenape, who coined the term Manaháhtaan, or “place for gathering wood to make bows”, where we get the modern day translation - Manhattan. As the world expanded, ships came from far off and this small island in the harbor sheltered the dreams of a nation, filled with scrappy young men and women, brimming with such ideals such as freedom, independence and revolution. As time went on it became a shelter for immigrants, those fleeing hardships in Europe came over by the boat fulls to Ellis island or other immigration points and filled the slums of the city with a dream that one day their children could have better than they did. 


Throughout the 1900’s and early 2000s it sheltered massive wealth, our financial institutions, a somewhat greedy view on to have it all, you should take it all. In the aftermath of September 11, 2001 it sheltered the devastation of humanity and it kept careful watch and care over a city and nation as they rose from the ashes of ground zero.


In my generation, as with everything generation before, it shelters young dreamers, people coming to the city to pursue theater, the arts, fashion, banking, or just the dream just to call NYC their home and live out their Gossip Girl fantasies from high school. 


New York City has an interesting way of existing where it takes care of the masses, but also the individual. The energy, the public transportation, multitude of restaurants, bars, coffee shops, galleries, activities, gives the masses something to do, places to go everyday. And yet, as they go about their days the city also adapts to be a very personal experience. It gives the individuals a sense of individuality, ownership, and belonging. 


The city has sheltered me in the last year, through one of the most beautiful and challenging years of my life. It’s been a witness to me falling in love- the healthiest, most beautiful love I have ever known. It’s been a witness to me losing a best friend to cancer and all the anxiety, anger and sadness that came with it. It has been a witness to my healing, joy and all around giddiness that comes from so many “firsts” while living out a dream. Sitting here today, I can attest, the Lord is in New York City. 


__________________________________________________________________________________



In August I entered the SNL lottery. When they asked why I wanted the tickets I wrote about wanting to celebrate my one year anniversary in New York by seeing the most iconic New York show still in production. It worked, and on September 28th, my roommate and I filed into 30 Rock Center at 9:30 p.m. to scream, “Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night”. Jeane Smart hosted and her monologue kicked off a show with an ode to New York, a light hearted throw back to her Broadway days, she sang about the good, the bad, the garbage and rats, the lights and dreams, she echoed the words, that have been humming along in my soul the last year, “I happen to like New York.” 


This has been one of the most genuine delights of the last year, realizing I actually liked living in New York City. I knew I loved visiting and while I arrived hopeful for what was to come, I was very restrained in my hope, knowing the city is a vastly different place to live in, day in and day out than it is to visit. Turns out, I feel like I was built for city life. I’ve gotten the question, “What do you like about it?” a lot. Part of the time it’s disbelief, part of the time it’s curiosity and every so often it’s the whispered plea, one I used to ask people myself, tell me all the good stuff so I will finally convince myself to pursue this feeling that somehow I belong there too. The list of the reasons why I like it may turn into a post all by itself one day so I’ll save that for later, but yeah I REALLY like living in New York City. 


I’ve spent a lot of time in the last year kicking myself that I didn’t get here sooner, that I probably won’t have as much time in the city as I’d like now that I know how much I love it, and for a while kept telling myself, “New York and I will always be unfinished business”. But as I think more and more of that, the more I feel that’s not true. To have unfinished business is to have questions, to not know where you stand, things need to be addressed, that something is incomplete or there is conflict to be resolved and that’s just not the case when it comes to New York and I. The simple and more true fact is that New York and I are finished business, in the way that I love her and I’m pretty sure she loves me right back and I will carry that with me for the rest of my life. Always returning to her, always grateful I’ve seen her many sides from a visitor to a resident. It has been the honor and privilege to lay claim to New York City as a resident - even for a short while. 


Oh and yes New York is a she in my mind. I can’t imagine a city so filled with energy, creativity, resilience, strength (and okay a bit of chaos and drama) to not be feminine. 


Luckily our rent increase wasn’t too bad, so the lease has been signed and year two in New York City is already in motion!

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